Last week as we introduced ourselves I hadn't
realized how crafty it was of me (go me!) to plant the question about New
Year’s Resolutions amongst the rest of the getting-to-know you milieu. In
a course about the psychology of behavior change, New Year's resolutions are
kind of a unique example of people's willingness, and even enthusiasm, to
voluntarily adopt changes to current patterns of behavior. Why are we motivated to make these goals?
And what is different about this time of year, as opposed to the middle
of June? Wood et al.’s Habit Discontinuity Hypothesis (Wood, Witt, & Tam, 2005) suggests that
when the usual context that surrounds habitual behavior is disrupted, the
behavior is similarly disrupted because of the missing situational cues. Now I’m far from a behaviorist and prefer to
believe human behavior is the product of much more complicated processes than
sets of stimulus-response scenarios. In
fact, the intentional decision to make a change in behavior as part of a
resolution suggests a kind of intentionality and awareness that I don’t think
is well represented in the Habit Discontinuity Hypothesis. However, there is a common sense to this
theory that applies to New Year’s Resolutions.
What is it about the end of the calendar year that prompts this looking
back and looking forward, this willingness to change old habits and adopt new
patterns of living? On one hand, the
first of January is just a regular day, literally just one of 364 other 24-hour
chunks of time as we circle around the sun.
But on December 31, there’s this hoopla – worldwide celebrations,
gatherings with loved ones, big plans, maybe even fancy clothing and later
bedtimes – that make this particular day so qualitatively different than the 364
other days that surround it. The
culmination of the winter holidays and transition to writing a new year on our
checks provides an opportunity-ripe moment to harness this disruption in our
habits and interject a little intentionality about how we craft our
behaviors.
For me, my habit-discontinuity moment came on a
drive from Texas to Minnesota, in the middle of the night, two days before we
welcomed the New Year. As we drove
across the country, my husband and I enjoyed being wrapped up in the kind of
silence you only get when you’re driving cross-country at night with three
sleeping kids and a dog in the backseat.
And what did we do with this silence?
We talked. The past year for us
was about survival – keeping our heads above water. I often felt like I was constantly being
pulled in the direction of the tide, unable to get to the top of the water and
direct myself to a new path. So after
over a week of visiting family and making our way back north, we both noticed a
shift in how we were feeling about our present and our future. Those last two weeks of the year were about
that survival chapter closing and a new chapter beginning: thriving. Our theme for 2016 is Intentionality, which
means that rather than being pulled by every tide, we anticipate, plan for and
consciously pursue behaviors that are aligned to our goals and values. (The umbrella resolution of Intentionality
includes a lot of things: self-care and compassion, health, reading more for
fun, submitting papers to be published, deepening relationships – to name a
few.)
Without thinking about it, our first step was to
write down our resolutions for the New Year.
My 4-year-old calls these “our solutions,” which I don’t correct,
because it’s fitting. In blue crayon on
brown construction paper, this written commitment (Katsev, 1996) has already
served as a daily reminder of the goal-setting (Becker, 1978) we did as a
family in Dovray, Minnesota (population: 57 by the way) on New Year’s Day. This is usually about as far as my
“resolutions” get – seemingly earnest goals that are faded from focus by the
end of February. By this point, the
novelty has worn off, the mental fatigue of returning to the school grind has accumulated
and I’m often too exhausted to do anything but succumb to older habitual
behaviors.
I’ve been thinking a lot about Ray's notion of
Behavioral Aesthetics: crafting a life worth living, one that is meaningful,
and one that at the end of the day I can say, “Wow, that was a good
day.” To me, that’s what this resolution
of Intentionality is about. So what
makes 2016 different? What will support
this year’s goals towards durable behavior change (De Young, 1993)? Here’s a glimpse of what I’m/we’re doing so
far:
Priming the Way through Attention Restoration –
If I hadn’t known it before, last year gave me
intimate knowledge of how difficult it is to make and follow through with goals
when you’re mentally and physically fatigued.
Being able to accomplish our personal and professional goals largely
depends on our mental capacity to focus and to remain dedicated to these tasks,
even when they are less convenient.
First solution: I’m 33 years old
and I, once again, have a bedtime that I follow every night (during the
week). Secondly, I’ve finally embraced
the wise management technique of taking micro-restorative breaks (Kaplan, 2001) throughout the
day in order to rest my directed attention capacity. Right now I’ve been enjoying small breaks to
be a child again and color:
Implementation Intentions (Holland, Aarts, & Langendam, 2006) –
In the past, we might have said we wanted to commit
to a morning routine, but do little more to accomplish this goal than setting
the alarm, which inevitably would be hit until a baby or two or three woke us
up anyway. This year, we’ve outlined
concrete steps to establish our morning routine. We get up at the same time every day. We lay out all the kid’s clothes the night
before. We take care of the same
responsibilities every morning. I make
the coffee, baby bottles and day care bags.
My husband changes diapers, makes breakfast and takes out the dog. Having almost turned these implementation
intentions into positive habitual behaviors, I no longer find the mornings to
be as mentally draining, which reinforces my ability to more intentionally
pursue other goals throughout the day.
Social Problem Solving (Staats, Harland, & Wilke, 2004) –
Lastly, my husband and I are both working towards
similar personal and professional goals.
We’ve committed to regularly checking in with one another about our
goals, providing opportunities for feedback, informal brainstorming, and
creative problem solving. And although
we’re a small community of 2 adults in our household, the accountability each
of us feels to the “rest of the community” is strong.
If you’ve stuck it through with this post, which
became way too long, THANK YOU. And I
welcome you to be part of the community of people who helps to support me in
these New Year’s “Solutions.” Ask me how
I’m doing. I’m happy to do the same for
you!
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